Jumaat, 27 Februari 2015

EMOTIONAL TEACHER AND PELAJAR ASLI

I left 3 Bestari with anger today
I almost shed tears
I know a teacher can't be emotional
tah laaa..
everyday I stress out
most likely sbb budak2 asli in that class
sometime, as a teacher I really want them to understand whatever things that I have taught them
yup! I admit
before this I did not encountered with those weak pupils
even during my practicum, I rarely got last and weak class
but when it comes to reality I have to face these pupils
mostly LINUS stream and they can't even speak in Malay
apatah lagi English
Allah saja taw how many time mengucap and istighfar in class just now
I know their level
I know I can't put high expectation from them
I know
I am aware of that
That was why I keep on..I mean like everyday I stress out on the keywords of the topic
Because I know LINUS pupils need drilling and guidance sooooo sooo badly much
But what happen kalau kau always and everytime remind them about the keywords
and when it comes to FRIDAY (a day of test I shall call it)
they can't even utter the words
MASHAAALAH
berat gila dugaan and jenuh nya nak bersabar
yeah bagi teacher especially aku, I have done and try my best 
hilangb suara jgn cakap la
seriuosly sehabis daya aku buat
tapi tak jadi!
Do you know How frustrated I am right now?
Teaching is never be easy for anyone
especially when you encounter with those pupils who are really2 weak
This is the reality of teaching English
the reality of being a teacher
I didn't blame them
I blame myself right now
for not being able to educate them
and lastly end up being an emotional teacher in the class
frankly,
sebulan mengajar, ada juga 3 hari aku tinggal kelas budak menenagis
tak
ak tak pukul
aku tak mengamuk
and aku tak hina
ak cuma bersikap tegas so that they know when it comes to my class
they can''t be lazy
can't expect I like to pujuk them everytime they cry
and mostly pelajar asli sgt lah sensitif
when they tak tahu buat
they tak kan tanya
they senyap
when we ask them why keep quiet dgn suara tegas
bukan marah
mula la nak menangis
SEDIH AKU!
sensitifnya depa niii dalam hati aku
kalau hari2 mcm ni ak pun nak berenti laaa
maybe belum cukup ilmu di dada
just as a new teacher, ak still cannot adapt dgn situation mcm ni
I didn't enjoy my teaching in this school
like previously

last but not least
I know I need and have to do something
I will try to figure this out
doakan saya kuat nak hadapi all these challenges
REALITY OF TEACHING AND I HAVE TO FACE IT
IN SHAA ALLAH

1 ulasan:

♥ ateyniera ♥ berkata...

sabaq la chae. dugaan sangat kena ajar budak LINUS ni lagi2 budak asli. org pon kena ajar linus. 24 budak org linus plus 5 pemulihan tegar yg tak leh baca. memang kena low habis. sehari mungkin 2,3 words je. cuba chae check website ni
http://www.themeasuredmom.com/free-letter-books/
kind of helpful untuk ajar membaca etc. boleh adapt n adopt. good luck and stay strong :))